Hers, hers, his and hers

-- For a sliver of America, HBO's "Big Love," a Sunday night television show about a man "married" to three women, isn't just a weekly hour of drama. It's the way they live.

They call themselves "poly people" or "polyamorists'' -- people who say they have marriage-like commitments to more than one person.

The idea conjures up images of group sex, though it's not always a free for all: Not all of the partners necessarily sleep with each other, but they do have what they call deep emotional connections. It's negotiated non-monogamy where the goal is falling in love. A lot.

In "Big Love," the husband shares three adjacent houses, alternating nights with his trio of wives. In real life, the poly life isn't always so neat. Many report living with their "primary partner'' but spending lots of time with the "secondary'' partner or partners. --