11 "Don't-Tell-the-Wife" Secrets All Men Keep

I hit on 9.

That IS a good list.

If I played golf, which I've been meaning to pick up for years, I might add a point of agreement to my list, but for now, I'm 8 for 11.

Since I responded to the other list seeded by Irma (which Newsvine won't let me link) I thought I'd respond to this one as well. As before, I will be responding to the actual article, but will only be quoting the actual secrets.

Secret #1: Yes, we fall in lust 10 times a day -- but it doesn't mean we want to leave you

This is like teenage boys looking at women in the chest instead of the face. It's something that most men grow out of at some point. I think for most men its in the mid- to late-twenties. As far as the radar not turning off, that's just a cop-out. It turns off when you stop looking. (I expect many men will reject this view, but I speak from personal experience.)

I'll still see a beautiful woman now and then (I'm 30), but I'm not "falling in lust". It's a more detached appreciation. The internal thoughts are more like "she is a beautiful woman" rather than "Wow, I'd really like to boink her." It's much different than the "coping a feel with my eyes" that I used to do when I was a teenager.

My wife is beautiful and provides me with more than any of those women provide. So, what's the point of looking around?

Secret #2: We actually do play golf to get away from you

Not only true, but I don't play golf. Some times we just need to get away to be our regular single selves (sans the orgies).

Secret #3: We're unnerved by the notion of commitment, even after we've made one to you

I think this is true. I tend to be very okay with commitment, but I still pine for the freedom of my more youthful days now and then.

Secret #4: Earning money makes us feel important

I think this is true for many men, and I think it is unfortunate. I feel more like a man when I accomplish something than when I earn more money. If what I accomplish earns me more money, all the better. Money is a stupid thing to base ego upon. Of course, my wife makes more money than me, so maybe I "have" to say that. I've never felt like less of a man because of it though.

Secret #5: Though we often protest, we actually enjoy fixing things around the house

This is very true and applies to our jobs as well, which links it to Secret #4 above.

Secret #6: We like it when you mother us, but we're terrified that you'll become your mother

I'm not sure I agree with this one. I've never met a woman who was much like her mother and I've never thought to be afraid. (In some cases the mother was an improvement!)

Secret #7: Every year we love you more

While I think it is true, I don't agree with the reasoning. They are basically saying men are shallow until they've been with a woman for a while. Even though the sex with my wife is mind-blowing, I would not have stayed with her (much less married her) if I hadn't fallen in love with her mind. I can't imagine the horror of marrying a woman because the sex is good and then finding out that she is stupid, shallow, or otherwise mentally hideous. I have a male friend who thinks he wants to find a hot, stupid woman to marry. No intelligent man can really be happy that way, but I have yet to convince him.

Secret #8: We don't really understand what you're talking about

...because men tend to be very direct and women want men to read signals and decipher code. It's all very obvious to women, but not so, men.

Secret #9: We are terrified when you drive

I don't know about all men, but I am terrified when my wife drives. And I want to put this into context: Without incriminating myself, let me just say that I was quite aggressive when I was younger. I would put myself in the top 1% of aggressive teenage drivers. I learned a lot about driving and controlling a vehicle, but had many, many scary moments. Not much scares me in a car, anymore.

Many women (and some men) don't seem to understand that there is a difference between passive driving and defensive driving. This difference is certainly lost on my wife. As a result, we end up in far more dangerous situations when she drives than when I drive.

An example:

When I see a "problem driver" (drunk, stupid, whatever) on the road ahead I give that person space. I either pass them quickly (if they are driving slowly) or I fall back a bit. My wife will end up right next to the person every time. Then she'll usually notice something isn't right, but rather than finding some place else to be, she'll sit with her hand on the horn ready to honk.

Secret #10: We'll always wish we were 25 again

Pretty much. This ties in with secrets # 2 & 3 above.

Secret #11: Give us an inch and we'll give you a lifetime

This is true and is one reason I'm married to my wife and not my ex-girlfriend.